THIS IS WHAT YOU CAN EXPECT WHEN ASKING YOUR DOG

TO DON AN ELFIN COLLAR:

THIS FACE:

(photo below.)

This face, if you’re not familiar with it, is the face that says:

“Oh, my dear humans, how tedious you’ve become. Can you not derive your humor from something that doesn’t involve accessories meant to make me look adorable?

I am not adorable, people.

I am DOG.“

…But then, behold the unexpected discovery of giant snow cones!

How convenient when one is being tormented by one’s humans

with a jingly neck garment!

And, what’s that? Lo, in the distance! Scurrying about the fields!

Rodentia taunting the Jingle Dog with bushy tails and chattering teeth!

But how can one chase squirrels while wearing an elfin collar?

Alas! An opportunity for doggie hijinks is dashed,

and then disappointment turns to…

…Resignation to one’s fate.

In which case, the dog in question might as well provide a nice view of

his ‘good side’.

“Yes,” he says, “I am THAT GOOD.

I can make even this ridiculous bib,

or collar

or whatever it is,

look dignified.”

But what’s that we see?

Is that The Glum Face morphing elegantly into

The Embrace of the Holiday Spirit?

How did it happen Young Theodore?

It’s the Tinsel Tree?

Well of course! Theo can’t resist the sparkle of the Tinsel Tree

and the sight of wrapped presents beneath its silvery boughs!

He remembers now:

Santa will soon be on his way!

In which case posing as an elf might prove VERY beneficial.

Joy!

It seems, in a delightful turn of events, Theo rather likes his Elfin Collar,

and once again,

our home is filled with the light of the holiday season!

You may all return to your Holiday Shopping now,

wherever in the world you may be…

…And Theo will be most happy to provide the soundtrack to your efforts,

with his every jingly step.